Steve Harvey’s Best Jokes from the NFL Honors

Steve Harvey’s Best Jokes from the NFL Honors


– Welcome the the eighth
annual NFL Honors. This is a prestigious award. We give you awards, ’cause we already know you ain’t been given
enough stuff in yo life. So, here comes some mo. Joe Willie Namath. Oh, oh Lord, oh Lord. (applause) Oh! thank you Lord! Oh! thank you Lord! Thank you Lord! Boy, do you know what you mean to me? You reinforced the idea
that I wanted to be a pimp. (laughter) You won a Super Bowl in a fur coat. (laughter) Now, I ain’t gonna, now listen to me, tonight I want you to
understand somethin’. I’m excited about bein’ here, man. I been wantin’ to do this
show for a long time. What took y’all so long to
ask me to host the show? Y’all have skipped all around me. Sat up here, you had Seth
Meyers hostin’ the show. Seth? (laughter) You had Conan O’Brien hostin’ the show. You done picked everybody but ya boy. I been a fan of y’all. Look at me, don’t sit here and
act like you don’t know me. You grew up watchin’ me. (applause and laughter) I’m a damn football fan. Your mama loved me. Your grandmama loved me. Everybody in your family
watched Family Feud. And you gonna take your
damn time pickin’ me. You had Alex Baldwin
do da show three times. Pick all these people, they don’t even look
like they’re a athlete. Look at me. I looked, I looked like I coulda played. (laughter and applause) You know what I’m sayin’? I want energy from you. The reason imma ask for energy, is ’cause y’all normally, the people down here, and the people upstairs know how to do it, but y’all athletes– (loud cheering) See dat right there? See, didn’t not one a
y’all clap down here. Soon as I said that,
everybody up there clapped, ’cause they know how to clap for people. You don’t know how to clap for people, ’cause you been gettin’ clapped
for your whole damn life. (laughter) They been clappin’ for
ya at Pee Wee football. (loud applause) Clappin’ for ya junior high. Clappin’ for ya in high school. Look at my baby run. Ooh, my baby run so fast. I don’t wanna make fun of nobody, I just want you to laugh, enjoy yourself. I’m a smart guy, I don’t
make fun of 300 pound people that can run a 40 in under 4.5. I don’t make fun of people
who can whoop my ass. I really don’t. I been around a long time. I don’t want you to act cool tonight. Take that off the table. Chill but don’t act cool. We’ve seen all of you in
spandex and your hair tied up. (laughter) Hard to look cool witcha hair tied up. If you tie your hair up to play football, you don’t look cool. I just wanted to say that. Once again, not a lot of laughs on that, ’cause of who you sittin’ next to. (laughter) If Tom Brady wasn’t livin’, y’all could be in the Super Bowl. (laughter and applause) That tighten y’all up a little bit? (laughter) You ain’t thought about it? Hell, I have. I’m tired of Tom Brady in the
Super Bowl every damn year. If he wasn’t here, we
could be in the Super Bowl. One thing I wanna talk to
ya’ll about are celebrations. I like celebrations. I like touchdown celebrations. What I don’t like is the
first down celebrations. It’s the smallest
accomplishment in football. It’s just 10 yards. (laughter) That’s here to the microphone. Now, you make a first down,
now you spinnin’ the football. Now we gotta wait ’til the
damn ball stops spinnin’. (laughter) You all in here. (laughter) It’s 10 yards. Get your punk ass down
there to the end zone. (laughter and applause)

19 comments on this post

    Tishaun James

    Deandre Hopkins looks tight after that Tom Brady joke 😂😂😂

    Reply

    ESPINOZA d La O

    3:37 DALLAS COWBOY IN HOUSE…

    Reply

    Carlos Gonzalez

    Steve harvey still got it 😂🤣

    Reply

    zack wyatt

    I don't watch football but he's right about brady

    Reply

    Shed Washington

    1996 I won the Apollo three times and Mr. Harvey was the incredible host. This Man was Funny then and nothing has changed except now I consider him a Comic Icon! You bring so much joy in everything you do. Thank you for always being honest in the most positive and funny way. I wish you could host everything! Somebody please clone this Man!

    Reply

    ThePokerbrat626

    Steve is the goat

    Reply

    Sherry Jones

    Love love love love #SteveHarvey

    Reply

    Da Re

    Great words from the man Steve Harvey. He can say it so directly without causing the receiving end to get butt hurt. This was a great speech by Steve.

    Reply

    Vladimir Putin’s Clone

    Chill but don’t act cool 😎

    Reply

    Brainman234

    Joe Namath joke was incredible

    Reply

    Wxmpy

    the closest we gettin to a steve harvey stand up special.

    Reply

    Odin F

    bOy Do yOu kNoW What YoU MeEn to Me

    Reply

    Danny Yang

    Steve is the man!! Hes funny all around.

    Reply

    Charley Masubed

    Nice man 😎👍

    Reply

    Josephson Ognita

    Now that cracked me up!

    Reply

    Derrick Jones

    “I LOOKED….. I LOOKED LIKE I COULDA PLAYED” 🤣🤣🤣

    Reply

    GB06 Chomp Chomp

    Tracy Morgan are you👀 🤯👌🤫

    Reply

    Al Ol'zio

    Who’s that pretty girl on the right side 😩😩☺️🤤 1:21

    Reply

    Jacob Pesquera

    I don't like Steve Harvey's or Rob Riggle's hosting of NFL honors cause they care too much about what people think and they host based on what they "think" people want to hear, it's like they're trying to appease the crowd to make the crowd like them, which I hate. Whereas Conan O'Brien and Norm MacDonald don't give a damn what people think and unapologetically and unequivocally roasted a majority of the people in the room in one way or another, I much rather have brutal honesty it's much more funnier and genuine, even if people don't like hearing it.

    Reply

    MessengerOfTruth

    #2 is kinda wack because they cut out the part with him saying pool your $ together and having Tom Brady killed first.

    Reply

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